How Cell Groups Mature

If a cell grows rapidly, the question it has to answer is, “How long does it take for true intimacy to happen to allow the deeper issues in our lives to surface?”

Typically, if a group is starting from scratch, the pattern will be:

FORMING: (4-6 weeks) We have “impressions” about the others in the group because they “remind” us of similar people we have known before. E.G., “He reminds me of my angry old uncle Fred. I am not sure about him,” or, “He is just like my wonderful uncle Fred who was so kind and gentle! I like him!”

The ice breakers should be structured to reveal true identities. I have recently started in forming a new cell group in my home and for the fourth time we are devoting a whole evening to hearing in depth the life history of one person at a time. I am impressed with how much faster we bond by doing this. We let the structure of the cell meeting be welcome, worship, report of one person’s life, prayer, outreach planning….

STORMING: (4 weeks typically) After about 4-6 weeks in most cases, this FORMING image wears off. The “real” personalities surface and now, I as a cell member, have to decide if I want to be transparent around this person or whether I do not trust him. Conflict inevitably will take place and the cell leader must watch for verbal and nonverbal signals that this is taking place.

The ice breakers should be structured to bring up the way each person is wired and soldered to behave in a conflict situation. I have material to use:

Ask - Answer,
Suggest - Agree
Demand - Give in
Fight - Flight

During storming, there will not be much transparent confession going on. I have dozens of examples of how cells work through this bumpy air with seat belts fastened. It is absolutely necessary to go through it. If a cell leader is fearful of dealing with conflict and tries to pour oil over the growing tension, the cell often will disintegrate as people drop out. It is more painful in some groups than in others. I recently had a man come into my cell in my home and picked a FIGHT with one of the younger men, a son of India who was very unstable as he dealt drugs to others and did not have a lot of polish. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do because it happened too fast and we lost both of them.

EDIFYING: (Several months) Once the cell has truly bonded, I see this really as the time when I think a cell moves from being mostly “man made” to “God Made.” There is a stickyness to the members, they are hanging out between the group meetings, praying together, sharing burdens for lost people in their oikoses—and most of all, totally confessional! Layer by layer, the secret sins and bitternesses, etc., are exposed for the body to deal with. Oikodomeo and Oikonomos empowerment flows within the group and healing takes place.

THIS IS THE TIME FOR THE GROUP TO ENTER . . .

EVANGELIZING: Over the months they have been relating to oikos unbelievers and searching “type A” friends. These can now be invited to attend the cell group (see 1 Cor. 14:24-25). The presence of these observers will temper a little of the intensity of the confessional nature of the cell, but not as much as you might think! The unspoken love and communion that will take place will cause the unbeliever to fall on his knees and cry out, “God is among you, and I want to be a part of this community!”

PREPARATION FOR MULTIPLICATION: It is these new converts who come who grow the size of the cell to the bursting point. It is time to multiply! But how should this be done? It is very natural: each one of these new converts came in through one of the cell members. They were/are bonded in a special way. So, the cell does not SPLIT or DIVIDE: it BIRTHS a Daughter Cell that is naturally made up of the original cell members and the “little children” attached to them, who have by this time been in the cell for several weeks.

One dear pastor nearby my home has a cell church with LIFE groups (cells). Nearly every Sunday now he is large enough that he has a special time in the Sunday service where the entire group comes to the front. He sets apart the Daughter Cell with prayer, they hug those in the “Mother” cell with tears and begin to meet on their own the next week.

When you get into the third and fourth generation of your cells, there is not much of the original FORMING STORMING taking place but it can usually have some modifications of it in every new cell.

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